Will you be my best bro?
Now, to be honest, historically it was rare that the best man had to keep the bride from bolting and it was far more likely that he was there to protect her or simply be there for tradition.
In today's weddings the best man stands next to the groom. However, this is a recent development and break from tradition. Historically the best man stood next to the bride during the ceremony for her safety. The best man's main jobs were to protect the bride should another suitor present himself to disrupt the wedding or if the bride's family should contest the match.
In Shakespeare's play Romeo & Juliet their romance is shrouded in secrecy. And for good reason- they were living in the middle of gang warfare! So with all this secrecy and cloak and dagger action why in the world would they have other people at their wedding? Wouldn't it make more sense to have just Romeo & Juliet and Father Lawrence at their wedding??
Well, there was a reason that Balthasar and the Nurse were present. Not only was it tradition for there to be a Best Man and a maid for the bride but both were actually performing a vital role.
If necessary the Best Man would duel for the honor of the bride and groom, and in the case of Romeo & Juliet having him there is actually a bit of comfort.
An article from Mental Floss explains: "Given the likelihood that the bride's family would attempt to retrieve her from her groom or get revenge—or that another suitor would try to take her, or she might try to escape—the best man stood right next to her at the wedding, at the ready with his weapon. Later, he was moved to the groom's right side (possibly due to jealousy on the part of the groom). After the ceremony he stood guard outside the newlyweds' bedroom or home."
Let's take this ancient concept and see how it fits into a more modern notion.
I know what you're thinking.
Nothing can top the excellence of an 80's wedding.
This above picture is of my dad and his Best Man. Now traditionally Mr. Best Man should have been armed and possibly been the only armed person at the ceremony. Let's take a look at what kind of weapons may have been carried.
My source for this information comes from "Weapon: A Visual History of Arms and Armor"- this is one of my favorite resources for historical weaponry.
Here are some examples of the kinds of swords and sabers that could have been carried.
Now, other than luxuriating over these amazing wedding photos from September 1986, how does this connect to our family history?
If the information is available to you, you may want to look further into weddings of ancestors past. The role of Best Man is one that is a time honored tradition and one that bore a large role. Today we think of the Maid of Honor as having a large amount of responsibility, but a bride having an entourage of her own is a new concept. It is the Best Man on whom the wedding relies.
Thank goodness for the Best Man!
When we work on our family history we are searching in pairs. Each ancestor came from two parents, but do we stop to consider that our family tree is composed of love stories? In each pairing there is a story, and in many of those pairs there was a Best Man off to the side ready with his sword, saber, and later a musket or rifle to defend a couple's right to marry and love.
These days a couple becoming engaged is the beginning of endless planning that includes selecting a venue, making a guest list, designing invitations, arranging photographers, completing county paperwork - and the list goes on. In addition to the many wedding rituals that have been added over time it is fascinating to know that there are some aspects of a wedding that have continued over time and make them a true tradition.
It's a beautiful thing to pause and think on the traditions layered into weddings and how they have been going on so long that when your best friend stands beside you in your wedding you can know that the same gesture was performed for ancestors far before you.
There is an ancient weight to the action.
Likewise in choosing a Best Man there is a sense of trust being placed in this person that stretches back hundreds of years but also think on the honor that is being bestowed when you fulfill the responsibility of Best Man for another.
But please ask you groom (and bride) whether carrying a weapon is really proper for the mood they are attempting to strike.
Look into your family history and see what incredible weaponized wedding details you can dig up.
Happy Hunting!
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